Mind is a Crowded Place, but...

It fascinates me that some people have such clear and focused mind. Not many people though. But these people seemingly have mastered the art of mind controlling. We could see that through the way they talk, the way they write, or the way they live their lives. Sadhguru, Yuval Noah Harari, Sam Harris, Allan Watts to name a few. Maybe those are the extremes, people who have probably mastered their own minds. There are tons others who might be better representing "close-to-normal-people", but maybe the popular ones are easier set of example.

If we look at their interviews and their talks, they show some degrees of clarity, eloquence, peace, and control, making us wonder what is the secret? I know that probably there are tons of factors affecting their traits, such as the formal and informal education, their childhood, the natural speaking ability, the discipline of learning. But I found something interesting, something that made me hypothesized that was the one of the primary secret: meditation. 

Yup. It was meditation. (OK let me make it clear that this is totally a very subjective point of view of mine). What meditation had to do with the ability to stay focused and have a mind clarity? Let's just look on what meditation really is. Here are some definition of the word meditation/meditate:

"Meditation is a practice where an individual uses a technique – such as mindfulness, or focusing their mind on a particular object, thought or activity – to train attention and awareness, and achieve a mentally clear and emotionally calm and stable state" - Wikipedia

"Meditation is a means of transforming the mind. Buddhist meditation practices are techniques that encourage and develop concentration, clarity, emotional positivity, and a calm seeing of the true nature of things." - thebuddhistcentre dot com

"Meditate: to engage in contemplation or reflection; to engage in mental exercise (such as concentration on one's breathing or repetition of a mantra) for the purpose of reaching a heightened level of spiritual awareness" - Merriam Webster Dictionary

There are many more description of meditation but as we can see, some of the key words including awareness, focus, clear, calm, clarity, spiritual. It sounds reasonable when I said that meditation is probably the secret of why some people have a clear and focused mind, the kind of mind that made me jealously wanting to have the same one. 

But do these people really practice meditation? Oh yes, absolutely. They practice meditation almost every single day. They do it with a great discipline. Some of them do it more that one hour every day. Meditation might has been a part of their basic needs alongside with eating and sleeping. Why is that so? Is meditation really that important?

Let me begin with the main activity that makes a meditation, a meditation. There are some types of meditation but what makes us call it meditation is this: sitting still while watching our own mind and thought happening. Just it. Simply sit and watch. So it is not that bad huh? Wait until you try.

I have tried some 10 minute meditation and they were nothing but uneasy, crowded, hard, and heavily distracted. As a millennial, my mind is super easily distracted. I am constantly thinking about new things, my social media's feeds are always flooded with new pictures, surprising news, my own uploaded pictures, my friends' status, super artsy pics, cute animals, and others. My mind is always hungry for more colorful feeds. It is easier to distract this mind with perfectly angled pictures than looking inward to see what is really happening with my mind, what feeling emerges as I saw the last tweet. Was the picture leading me to enviousness, self-pity, or greed?

Meditation for a beginner like me helps me see that my mind is a crowded place. One millisecond I was thinking about my last post on Instagram, another split-second I am thinking about what I could do to make my post even better. New camera? How much does it cost to buy a new camera? Oh I remember my friend had that cute camera, I want that! That friend of mine is now travelling to another place I haven't been before. Why haven't I traveled that much? Oh maybe I should get another job................and it goes on and on and on, without me being aware of! And this happens every. single. day. I was carried away by my own thought countless of time.

This example is quite a neutral thought. How if I think about how I hate myself without being aware that I am hating myself, that I am slowly killing my self esteem and self worth? Wouldn't this lead to stress and anxiety? Aren't stress and anxiety the seeds of mental breakdown?

But I should thank meditation since it opens up about a messy place called mind. First, meditation helps us see our own mind, later, it helps us to see even more clearly and maybe one day we can make a clear separation between our thought and our being. And maybe if we are discipline enough like those enlightened people, we will then be able to not be carried away but to have a sense of self-control, mind-control kind of thing. At least that is the theory from people who have mastered their mind.

If meditation can help us stay focused, than it is probably a very if not mandatory skill to help us live better in this modern world. We should admit that now, things are easier to do, thanks to tech inventions. But easy thing is not positively correlated to better life. We just got more confused because of so many options, so many new interesting things. We are struggling to keep up with the latest of all things. What a race, what a depressed life. So again, if meditation can help us see the essential, and slowly brings us to the clarity of mind, maybe we should give it a good try.

Isn't meditation a Buddhist stuff?
Well, meditation has long been used by Buddhist monk as a tool for spiritual quest. Yes, meditation can be spiritual, but the word "spiritual" now has been changing into something only hipster people do. Spiritual is actually the personal search of meaning. But leave the "spiritual thing" alone. Let's just look at meditation as a tool to be a more sane person in this fast-moving world. If we have an open mind (besides it being crowded), maybe we can give it a try.

If anyone wants to "taste" it, an application called "Mind Space" might help (not sponsored ;))

May we have a better understanding about ourselves, starting with noticing what we actually think at the time.

Tempat yang Jauh

Tempat yang jauh sedang menungguku
Yang punya lebih banyak hari berawan berbanding hari terik
Dengan gelembung personal berdiameter 10m
Tanpa harus dipertanyakan kalau perempuan ingin jalan sendiri, tengah malam sekalipun
Yang tidak perlu dijelaskan mengapa kontrak rumah sendirian itu bukanlah penyakit
Ditempat itu perempuan dibayar setara dengan laki-laki
Atau dibayar lebih kalau memang bekerja lebih keras
Tidak berbasa-basi, langsung pada inti pembicaraan
Tidak ada pidato-pidato pembukaan yang menghabiskan 1 jam berharga dalam hidupnya
Dan berbagai kepercayaan yang dipakai sebagai tameng malas mencari tahu lebih dalam
Yang lebih memilih membaca daripada mengulang kembali bercandaan yang sama puluhan kali
Ditempat dimana perempuan yang menikmati hidup sendiri tidak perlu didoakan karena itu sekali lagi bukan penyakit
Kalau sudah 30an apalagi 40an dan belum menikah tidak di-cap "tidak laku", tetapi dihormati pilihannya dan dikagumi kemandiriannya
Saat tali bra-nya atau kulit perutnya terlihat tidak perlu bajunya ditarik-tarik untuk segera ditutupi

Mungkin sekali saja seorang anak perempuan mencicipi kebebasan, ia tidak ingin lagi hidup dalam kekangan. Buat apa? Hidup ini terlalu singkat untuk memenuhi ekspektasi beberapa orang yang tidak menyumbang seurat kebahagiaan dalam hidupnya.

Tempat yang jauh itu adalah tempatku, habitatku, Sedang menungguku. Aku pasti kesana. Aku harus disana. Walau tempat yang jauh itu sebenarnya selalu hidup dalam hatiku, hati seorang perempuan merdeka.