Pecah Energi

Pecah buih halus di Pantai Kusambi
Pecah napas yang tertahan melihat Bulan Terhapus
Pecah sinar kuning disela Bambu Oesusu
Pecah Titik Koma seakan tak ada tanda lain
Pecah pasir lembut di Roda Max
Pecah ombak di telinga Pantai Merah
Pecah nada merdu nyanyian Pohon Kasuari
Pecah senyuman di pinggir Kali merdu
Pecah Tanah Kering di tubuh yang regang
Pecah janji di Ujung Pelangi
Pecah Energi Kita saling menjalin dengan Alam seolah-olah sudah mengenal jutaan tahun lamanya; evolusi membawa kita jauh ke kompleksnya 2019 tapi memori di serat tulang kita bercerita pernah berjanji untuk bertemu kembali utuh bukan sebagai orang asing.

Komuniti Ikrib Himpit

Sungguh aneh cara berkomunitas kita ini
Bersosial yang sok akrab
Membaur atau mencekik tak ada bedanya
Bercanda atau meneror tak ada garis batasnya

Sungguh tak elok cara kita berhimpitan
Yang memberi pertanyaan-pertanyaan telanjang
Moral vulgar dan bukan aspirasi yang ditagih
Saling memeras wilayah privasi hingga tak ada lagi aku

Kalau ada yang mencuat sedikit dipangkas,
Ada yang menyembul sedikit diratakan
Hingga tak ada harmoni, yang ada hanya bising
Kehidupan sosial diartikan penyeragaman paham

Identitas

Menghabiskan sisa hidup ini
Membangun identitas yang entah apa
Bukankah manusia jatinya kita
Bukannya cinta yang mengikat kita

Menyembunyikan identitas
Yang kita bangun tanpa dasar
Bukankah kerabat asuhnya kita
Bukannya air tangan membentuk kita

Terlanjur Liberal

Seringkali telusuri luasnya persepsi menghadapi berbagai pemaknaan mengapa rajin merekayasa padahal tidak seharusnya dirumitkan tapi sudahlah mungkin demikian berlangsungnya dan memusingkan sedangkan berani berbeda rupanya baik, sudah terlanjur liberal.

Pernahkah berbicara mengenai persaingan mana lebih penting atau baik dari lain kalau saja terjadi pusing tangan pusing mata kaki menjual diri awal satu menjadi banyak dahulu penuh menjadi murtad adakah keluhan dari berubah organ sewaktu dibutuhkan mungkinkah malu, memang terlanjur liberal.

Seberapa lentur berpikir haruskah bertemu di titik persis sedangkan kompromi tak ada paksaan bukannya masa depan misteri padahal merencanakan panjang lebar diganti senyum bagaimana bicara sambil menghormati dan pertanyaan terlahir kembali sebagai pertanyaan, ini terlanjur liberal.

Jeruk SoE

Panggil rasaku dengan warnamu
Penuhi kepalaku dengan wangimu
Kau dan kabut menjalin satu
Bawa memoriku dalam kenangan

Basahi dahagaku dengan bulirmu
Hangatkan kakiku dengan misterimu
Kau dan serat-serat halusmu
Lembabkan keringku dalam ketenangan

Mind is a Crowded Place, but...

It fascinates me that some people have such clear and focused mind. Not many people though. But these people seemingly have mastered the art of mind controlling. We could see that through the way they talk, the way they write, or the way they live their lives. Sadhguru, Yuval Noah Harari, Sam Harris, Allan Watts to name a few. Maybe those are the extremes, people who have probably mastered their own minds. There are tons others who might be better representing "close-to-normal-people", but maybe the popular ones are easier set of example.

If we look at their interviews and their talks, they show some degrees of clarity, eloquence, peace, and control, making us wonder what is the secret? I know that probably there are tons of factors affecting their traits, such as the formal and informal education, their childhood, the natural speaking ability, the discipline of learning. But I found something interesting, something that made me hypothesized that was the one of the primary secret: meditation. 

Yup. It was meditation. (OK let me make it clear that this is totally a very subjective point of view of mine). What meditation had to do with the ability to stay focused and have a mind clarity? Let's just look on what meditation really is. Here are some definition of the word meditation/meditate:

"Meditation is a practice where an individual uses a technique – such as mindfulness, or focusing their mind on a particular object, thought or activity – to train attention and awareness, and achieve a mentally clear and emotionally calm and stable state" - Wikipedia

"Meditation is a means of transforming the mind. Buddhist meditation practices are techniques that encourage and develop concentration, clarity, emotional positivity, and a calm seeing of the true nature of things." - thebuddhistcentre dot com

"Meditate: to engage in contemplation or reflection; to engage in mental exercise (such as concentration on one's breathing or repetition of a mantra) for the purpose of reaching a heightened level of spiritual awareness" - Merriam Webster Dictionary

There are many more description of meditation but as we can see, some of the key words including awareness, focus, clear, calm, clarity, spiritual. It sounds reasonable when I said that meditation is probably the secret of why some people have a clear and focused mind, the kind of mind that made me jealously wanting to have the same one. 

But do these people really practice meditation? Oh yes, absolutely. They practice meditation almost every single day. They do it with a great discipline. Some of them do it more that one hour every day. Meditation might has been a part of their basic needs alongside with eating and sleeping. Why is that so? Is meditation really that important?

Let me begin with the main activity that makes a meditation, a meditation. There are some types of meditation but what makes us call it meditation is this: sitting still while watching our own mind and thought happening. Just it. Simply sit and watch. So it is not that bad huh? Wait until you try.

I have tried some 10 minute meditation and they were nothing but uneasy, crowded, hard, and heavily distracted. As a millennial, my mind is super easily distracted. I am constantly thinking about new things, my social media's feeds are always flooded with new pictures, surprising news, my own uploaded pictures, my friends' status, super artsy pics, cute animals, and others. My mind is always hungry for more colorful feeds. It is easier to distract this mind with perfectly angled pictures than looking inward to see what is really happening with my mind, what feeling emerges as I saw the last tweet. Was the picture leading me to enviousness, self-pity, or greed?

Meditation for a beginner like me helps me see that my mind is a crowded place. One millisecond I was thinking about my last post on Instagram, another split-second I am thinking about what I could do to make my post even better. New camera? How much does it cost to buy a new camera? Oh I remember my friend had that cute camera, I want that! That friend of mine is now travelling to another place I haven't been before. Why haven't I traveled that much? Oh maybe I should get another job................and it goes on and on and on, without me being aware of! And this happens every. single. day. I was carried away by my own thought countless of time.

This example is quite a neutral thought. How if I think about how I hate myself without being aware that I am hating myself, that I am slowly killing my self esteem and self worth? Wouldn't this lead to stress and anxiety? Aren't stress and anxiety the seeds of mental breakdown?

But I should thank meditation since it opens up about a messy place called mind. First, meditation helps us see our own mind, later, it helps us to see even more clearly and maybe one day we can make a clear separation between our thought and our being. And maybe if we are discipline enough like those enlightened people, we will then be able to not be carried away but to have a sense of self-control, mind-control kind of thing. At least that is the theory from people who have mastered their mind.

If meditation can help us stay focused, than it is probably a very if not mandatory skill to help us live better in this modern world. We should admit that now, things are easier to do, thanks to tech inventions. But easy thing is not positively correlated to better life. We just got more confused because of so many options, so many new interesting things. We are struggling to keep up with the latest of all things. What a race, what a depressed life. So again, if meditation can help us see the essential, and slowly brings us to the clarity of mind, maybe we should give it a good try.

Isn't meditation a Buddhist stuff?
Well, meditation has long been used by Buddhist monk as a tool for spiritual quest. Yes, meditation can be spiritual, but the word "spiritual" now has been changing into something only hipster people do. Spiritual is actually the personal search of meaning. But leave the "spiritual thing" alone. Let's just look at meditation as a tool to be a more sane person in this fast-moving world. If we have an open mind (besides it being crowded), maybe we can give it a try.

If anyone wants to "taste" it, an application called "Mind Space" might help (not sponsored ;))

May we have a better understanding about ourselves, starting with noticing what we actually think at the time.

Tempat yang Jauh

Tempat yang jauh sedang menungguku
Yang punya lebih banyak hari berawan berbanding hari terik
Dengan gelembung personal berdiameter 10m
Tanpa harus dipertanyakan kalau perempuan ingin jalan sendiri, tengah malam sekalipun
Yang tidak perlu dijelaskan mengapa kontrak rumah sendirian itu bukanlah penyakit
Ditempat itu perempuan dibayar setara dengan laki-laki
Atau dibayar lebih kalau memang bekerja lebih keras
Tidak berbasa-basi, langsung pada inti pembicaraan
Tidak ada pidato-pidato pembukaan yang menghabiskan 1 jam berharga dalam hidupnya
Dan berbagai kepercayaan yang dipakai sebagai tameng malas mencari tahu lebih dalam
Yang lebih memilih membaca daripada mengulang kembali bercandaan yang sama puluhan kali
Ditempat dimana perempuan yang menikmati hidup sendiri tidak perlu didoakan karena itu sekali lagi bukan penyakit
Kalau sudah 30an apalagi 40an dan belum menikah tidak di-cap "tidak laku", tetapi dihormati pilihannya dan dikagumi kemandiriannya
Saat tali bra-nya atau kulit perutnya terlihat tidak perlu bajunya ditarik-tarik untuk segera ditutupi

Mungkin sekali saja seorang anak perempuan mencicipi kebebasan, ia tidak ingin lagi hidup dalam kekangan. Buat apa? Hidup ini terlalu singkat untuk memenuhi ekspektasi beberapa orang yang tidak menyumbang seurat kebahagiaan dalam hidupnya.

Tempat yang jauh itu adalah tempatku, habitatku, Sedang menungguku. Aku pasti kesana. Aku harus disana. Walau tempat yang jauh itu sebenarnya selalu hidup dalam hatiku, hati seorang perempuan merdeka.

Dua Ribu Delapan Belas

Biasanya saya mulai paragraf pertama refleksi tahunan dengan pengantar filosofis. Kali ini agak berbeda. Sedikit saja pengantar saya:

Kalau ada tahun dimana ada pertemuan berbagai intensitas perasaan, 2018-lah tahun itu bagi saya.

* Profesi baru

Saya pindah ke Ende di minggu pertama Januari 2018. Sebuah awal yang cukup membuat saya excited: pekerjaan, profesi, tempat tinggal, dan teman-teman baru. Pekerjaan di Wahana Visi Indonesia ini adalah yang pertama setelah lulus pendidikan S2. Bagaimana rasanya bekerja formal kembali sejak 2 tahun setengah sering tidur siang? Kaget tentu saja. Posisi baru yang saya jalani ini menuntut saya untuk selalu prima, bekerja melebihi jam kerja normal, dan siap travel kapanpun diminta. Benar saja, lebih dari separuh 2018 saya habiskan di luar kota, luar pulau, luar provinsi, bahkan sempat ke luar negeri. Meski kadang sering merasa lelah, saya banyak belajar hal baru dan saya bersyukur untuk itu semua. Walaupun terdengar manis seperti gula kapas, saya tidak mau menutupi fakta bahwa saya sempat menderita flu berkali-kali dan banyak menghadapi kekuatiran apakah bisa menjalani semua ini :p. Syukurnya, di semester 2 2018 saya jadi lebih kuat secara fisik dan mental, kepercayaan diri dan self esteem pun meningkat. Kalau tanya mengapa, saya akan jawab dengan "yoga" :p, walaupun mungkin jawaban sebenarnya adalah: manusia -sebagaimana makhluk lainnya- beradaptasi.

* Cinta, makanan apakah itu?

Mengalami jatuh cinta itu bisa berarti 2 hal: sebuah berkat besar atau sebuah kesialan telak. Tidak ada jalan tengah :p. Ekstrim? Begitulah cinta. wk. Baru saja saya terjun di dunia profesi yang baru ini, tiba-tiba saya terseruduk, tergelincir, terlindas, terjambak, taroso (only Kupang people know what taroso means), terjerembab, jatuh byur dalam kubangan perasaan yang namanya cinta ini. Untuk diketahui sebelumnya, saya TIDAK bermimpi, berdoa, ataupun berharap tentang hal-hal romantis di tahun 2018 karena fokus utama saya adalah bekerja. Ternyata saya ditimpa berkat-besar-kesialan-telak ini tanpa ada peringatan. Ga diminta kok datang sih kaqqqq :p. Jelas saya kelimpungan. Sehari-hari perasaan saya bagai badai besar, ketiak saya berkeringat secara tidak normal, jantung lupa caranya berdetak santai, dan tentu pikiran jadi susah fokus karena mata orang sinting itu selalu terngiang-ngiang. Memang sebuah kesialan telak! Awalnya saya berpikir saya sudah terlalu tua untuk merasakan panas dingin gelora anak SMA ini. Rupanya tidak saudara, hati tua ini lupa kalau dia pernah (berkali-kali) hampir mampus dibuat sakit diri sendiri (self-harmed :p). Sekali lagi, saya TIDAK BERHARAP ini akan terjadi. Kenapa? Karena seindah-indahnya novel romantis menggambarkannya, cinta itu merepotkan. Namun sebagai anak baik yang senang belajar, saya pun memetik pelajaran berharga: betapa besarnya energi yang saya miliki saat jatuh cinta! Waktu itu, saya bisa tidur tidak tenang selama 4 jam saja, lalu besok paginya bangun, loncat dan lari-lari kecil dari tempat tidur, menyanyi cinta-cinta tai kucing bak artis toilet, darah mengalir lancar seperti habis diinfus extra jo**, dan masih ada energi untuk salah tingkah. Wassalam. Memang sungguh repot. Anehnya saya kuat, setidaknya selama 2 bulan. Lalu, kemudian datanglah badai selanjutnya yang bernama:

* Patah hati

Jatuh cinta saja tidak saya harapkan, apalagi patah hati...duh kaq...

Patah hati kali ini bagaikan menonton bunga cantik yang perlahan-lahan mati kering di depan mata sendiri walaupun saya punya cukup waktu dan air untuk merawatnya. Memang sebenarnya tidak serta-merta saya keringkan sih, kadang masih saya siram dengan air bernama harapan dan mimpi kosong :p :p :p. Ironisnya, jika patah hati dihitung terpisah dari rangkaian jatuh cinta, maka rumusnya sebagai berikut:

Durasi Patah Hati >>>>>>>>> Durasi Jatuh Cinta

Keterangan:

Durasi = Waktu, satuan: detik

Patah Hati = kepedihan; proses menghibur hati yang lupa diri padahal sudah sering babak belur

>>>>>> = lebiiiiiiiiiiihhhh dari

Jatuh Cinta = Sebuah proses kerentanan dimana pohon kelapa tua berubah warna jadi merah muda

Sungguh tak adil...

Cinta-cinta 2 bulan, patah mati mampus 1 tahun lebih kaq. Mungkinkah ini faktor usia? Tubuh orang yang menua, kalau terjadi luka atau inflamasi, pemulihannya memakan waktu lama, lebih lama dari waktu masih muda. Mungkin juga. Saya banyak menangis, tentu. Banyak bermain "what ifs". Banyak mengulang hal-hal indah di kepala bagaikan aplikasi boomerang di Instagram. Padahal masa lalu, seindah apapun, jika terlalu banyak diulang akan jadi racun buat saat ini. Namun demi kesenangan belajar, saya menemukan bahwa saya bisa mengalami cinta yang tidak begitu egois. Kalau sebelumnya saya butuh timbal balik, kali ini saya cukup bersyukur menemukan diri saya yang menginginkan kakak sinting itu bahagia walaupun tanpa saya. Ini sungguh kekejuan alias cheesy, tetapi truuuuue.

* Ke luar negeri

Bersyukur bisa ke Manila, Filipina, dan belajar dari orang-orang keren. Mengikuti ajang internasyenel dan masih sempat explore ke beberapa tempat juga :). Sebenarnya ada yang berkaitan dengan berkat-besar-kesialan-telak diatas. Banyak, sebenarnya. Tapi bagaimana ya, terlalu personal. Intinya ada percakapan, ada sudut mata, ada rekonsiliasi, ada makan bersama, dan tentu saja, seperti segala jenis pertemuan: ada "bye". Demikian, lalu aku bisa apa? Paling nangis. hahaha. Cinta tai kucing.

* Mendaki Gunung Inerie 

Bersama 3 perempuan tangguh dan 3 guide lokal yang luar biasa, saya mendaki gunung Inerie tanpa persiapan, kecuali sendal jepit, beberapa snack gandum, dan kenekatan. Senang sekali bisa kesana walaupun cuaca yang berawan, tapi prosesnya menyenangkan. Yang paling berkesan adalah saat turun gunung di tempat berkerikil terjal, kami pun main perosotan di atas bebatuan. Konon, ada celana yang robek setelah itu.

* Bertemu banyak orang baru

Banyaaaak. Mungkin bisa ribuan? Di lingkungan pekerjaan, sesama staf, di tempat pelatihan, di tempat seminar, dimana-mana hatiku....hancur. Cieh masih patah ya? wk

* Yoga

Semakin mendalami Yoga walaupun agak susah bisa tetap yoga saat travel. Tapi saya tetap cinta yoga. Setidaknya dia tidak pergi. Lhoh? curhat terus kaq :D. Di akhir 2018 saya membuat akun instagram khusus yoga di @nikefransyoga :) Semoga semakin semangat berlatih.

* Pindah rumah berkali-kali

1. Kos-kosan di Jalan Baru Ende, sangat saya sukai karena saya punya balkon kecil di bagian belakang yang bisa langsung menyentuh daun pisang tetangga

2. Rumah pink jalan nangka di Ende, sangat ideal untuk saya: rumah mini yang saya tempati sendiri. Rumah ini lumayan bersejarah dan membekas dihatiku selamanya :p :)

3. Rumah jalan Salak di Sikumana, Kupang. Rumahnya nyaman, udara segar, dapurnya bagus :)

4. Rumah saat ini: pindah di akhir Februari 2019, rumah besar, banyak air dan sinar matahari, bisa lihat laut dari belakang rumah :)

5. Pindah kemana lagi ya kaq?

* Sadhguru, School of Life, Alan Watts

Adalah tempat saya mencari ketenangan batin di Youtube ;)

* Apa lagi ya?

Saya akan coba ingat lagi, kalau masih ada akan saya revisi :)

Demikian panggung sandiwara besar bernama kehidupan di tahun 2018.

Saya bersyukur untuk kesempatan hidup ini. Intensitas perasaan ini ternyata membuat saya merasa "alive". Saya merasa mencicipi kehidupan karena saya merasa semua sel tubuh saya excited terhadap sesuatu. Walaupun saya akhirnya melewati 2 ekstrim perasaan: senang yang setingginya dan sedih yang sedalamnya, saya merasa "hidup" dan mungkin ini adalah tanda baik.

Terima kasih banyak 2018...

Nike

Dance in Ecstasy

Short life, it is truly a short life

But my love, hold my hands tight

Tonight we're going to dance

Spinning around in ecstasy

Tonight we are, tomorrow will it come?

But let's look at each other's eyes

Our senses are present

At least once in our lifetime

We know how to dance in ecstasy

Vegan & Vegetarian Food in Labuan Bajo

It surprised me that Labuan Bajo has grown into a mini Bali where you can find hipster menus all around the main road.

I spent 2 weeks in Labuan Bajo for 2 different activities. In the meantime, I had the chance to try some cool vegan meals. 

I did not find any restaurant which is purely serving vegan food, but the restaurants that I visited offer vegan and vegetarian options, and those foods are marked so the costumers will notice quickly. The ingredients are super fresh and even organic, but some ingredients were probably imported from outside the Flores island: chia seed and granola for example. 

As for the price, it can be more expensive compared to regular meal. The fancier the restaurant is, the more expensive the food is (obviously). However, the service, the quality of food, and the presentation are also better and more appealing. I spent around IDR 80.000 - 200.000 in one visit. Yes, I splurge on food, I do.

These restaurants are owned and managed by foreigner, which explains the variety of the menu, the price range, the interior theme, and the service standard. My fave restaurants so far would be Mediterraneo and Happy Banana :)

Mediterraneo serves Italian-Mediterranian food with some Indonesian specialties as well, while Happy Banana serves hype breakfast (smoothie bowls and friends), brunch, sushi, and others. I love the menu twist in Happy Banana btw. It is like someday you want to eat sushi, salad, and smoothie bowls at the same time, so you can just visit 1 place.

Well, I did not bring my camera so the pictures that I took might not look as good as they were in real time. Also, I did not take pictures of all the food that I ate. 

* Well I knew this already but after all this eating experience, I realized that the possibility of making plant-based vegan food interesting and adventurous option is endless <3 

Lentil Soup @Mediterraneo, so perfect I almost cried :p.It has lentils, probably mung bean, coco milk, grated coco, garnished with rolled tempeh crisp and fried tofu inside the tempeh

What Dr. Yanti and I ordered: Lentil soup, pumpkin soup, stuffed spinach and cheese pizza (not the real name), and juices. We got free appetizer which was sliced home made bread and salsa with olive oil. The stuffed pizza looked small but actually it was pretty big. We were sooo full after having this dinner.

@Happy Banana: I ordered sushi and turmeric shot

"Om Namoshivyah" Sushi with avo, nut cream cheese, mushroom, and other good stuff

Dr. Yanti ordered Gnocchi, I ate half of that because she was hurried to go to the airport :D

Chocolate Smoothie Bowl @  Happy Banana. Right amount of sweetness and chocolate taste, cacao nibs are my fave topping here

Nasu Dengaku @ Happy Banana, roasted eggplant with miso glazed and sesame seed, along with fresh salad. Ordered this because I like eggplant. Turns out eggplant and miso are good combination.

Rainbow salad by Happy Banana, ordered by Ka Mita

True foodgasm in Mediterraneo: Forgot the name but basically it is sauteed veggie, bean patty (its really gooood), fried tofu, served with super creamy curry coco milk and super fresh salad, garnished with tempeh crisp and sliced potato

Bean patty (the black disc at the center) is the real diva here. I am not sure what it is made of, but maybe it is a mix of mashed mung bean, and some dark legumes. It is super filling :)

At first it looked like a small portion, but I was super full after finished the meal. Curry coco milk is so good too :)

That is all. I would come back to Labuan Bajo for the food and the beautiful hills. As far as I know, Labuan Bajo is the most vegan & vegetarian friendly place in NTT. Of course it comes with high price but I would say the whole food experience is worth the price. 

March Cleanse

Vomiting

Crying

Running

Sleeping

And drinking fresh coconut water:

Past is past

I am alright

Tomorrow is going to be fine

Random Thought

It's midnight here in Labuan Bajo, Flores but I'm wide awake thanks to hours of nap this afternoon.

But it's all fine at least I got a chance to open this blog, since coming back here is not an easy thing. My life moves quite quickly, no kidding. Sometimes when the idea of blogwriting came, my thought was: "which story would I type first? which thought should I untangle? Which side of myself may I prioritize?". Overthinking? Maybe. But sometimes I'm just confused with the reality I am entering: again, overthink. Or maybe that was just an excuse for abandoning my own thoughts? could be. Anyway, I love being here again, mirroring myself in the form of letters and spaces.

*I know I looove deep lead paragraph ;) 

So I do not have any particular topic for this writing, as it is reflected in the title: random thought.

As I'm typing this very word, I am wondering what will this post talk about really. haha

OK let me start with my frequent daydreaming lately. I've been thinking about moving to a new place far enough to satisfy my adventurous leg hair :p

This thought comes over and over again even though I am enjoying the work I am currently doing. My work involves travel. A lot. I love moving. With that said, I would say that the thought of moving  somewhere far away may not be the result of me being bored with what I am doing currently. My life right now is faaaar from boring. I meet new people every week, I learn new skills almost every month. I travel to different area also every month. 

So why thinking about moving? Can I answer every "why" with "why asking why?" Why are we so obsessed with rationalization? :p

See, so random, I'm amazed by how human brain can bear the randomness it creates..........

Again, back to the prior idea about living somewhere else.

I realized I've been staying in NTT province, Indonesia, for almost 2 years now (of which I've moved house 4 times geeezzzzz whyyy thooo). See, I hate the idea of always moving from house to house, place to place, but at the same time I am longing to live somewhere else, far away, different culture, different language. What a contradition, what a perfectly self-ambiguing human (is there such a thing as self-ambiguing?) :p 

If I can choose which side of the world to stay (temporarily), France would be my top pick since the way French fellas say words is already sophisticated :D

Japan would be my second choice, although I don't like working too much but I love the detail, the idea of warm toilet seat, and the cherry blossom of course. Queensland is next. Why Queensland? Have I talked about why asking why? :p :p :p Well, I almost studied in Queensland but Kansas won the lottery so I went to Kansas instead, somewhere Dorothy once sang "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", somewhere called Manhattan the little apple.

I do not want to die just working in one place or one country.

I want to do what I can do best. I want to bring joy to my heart and others', those who share the same source of joyfulness. Anyway, can somebody pay me for taking flower picture, really? Because I would take flower picture all my life and hanging out with beautiful flowers all the time it is all fine. Actually I can do tiniest money game but I'm afraid my eyes will turn green if I spent my life looking at money graphs. I'm also good at being around vegan food so l have no problem creating smoothie bowls with high-speed blenders that cost my whole year salary ;). I have also taught microest classes of yoga so I can be your next spiritual-yoga-teacher-who-nails-yoga-pants-they-become-her-formal-attire after I can do headstand, wait me!

Let see where this leg hair would lead me...

So yeah, 

It is so goood to pour some of my randomness. 

I gotta try to sleep.

Good night, random cool kid :*

The comfort of these particular yoga pants is indescribable <3